Wednesday, July 20, 2016

The Art of Loving Yourself

The Art of Loving Yourself

I understand that my love for myself is the greatest possession I will ever have.
Love for my self comes into being only when I accept and experience my feelings as they are, at this very moment, both pleasant and unpleasant. As I welcome my painful self, it heals. Loving myself provides the power for transformation.

The Acceptance of Feelings
The acceptance of joy seems natural, but may not be clear why we should accept anger or fear. Negative feelings like these are exactly what we want to avoid. We normally think of negative feelings as preventing or interfering with happiness.
We all have some concept of ourselves as we would like to be – without certain faults, limitations, or emotional “problems”. We fight these conditions, expecting to be happier if we could only get rid of the negative aspects of ourselves, but the truth is that by not accepting, we perpetuate negativity instead of releasing it. Accepting is a difficult concept to grasp, because we have been trained to resist and fight what we don’t like.
We create pain through resistance and non-acceptance. To go beyond pain, and to enjoy wholeness, we must learn to integrate those parts of life we find painful and would like to avoid. Once integrated, they are no longer painful, instead, they add new dimensions to our existence. Life becomes richer, resulting in real, not pseudo, spiritual and material prosperity consciousness. The creative is allowed to manifest. Happiness becomes unconditional. We become artists of life, and realize that what we were resisting was really inside ourselves, not in the outside world. 

When I accept my self and my feelings as they are, I become whole. I am no longer split-fighting or condemning part of myself.
The power of self-acceptance and self-love builds within me. I acquire the ability to heal myself and the conditions of my life.
I awaken the power for transformation.
Accepting means opening to your feelings…

Acceptance doesn’t mean automatic approval of any event, whether an inner feeling or the interaction with another person or happening in the outside world. It means rather that we are open to the experience of the event. We may retain our intellectual discrimination, preferring that something be different from the way it is now manifesting; however, we do not allow our preference interfere with the experience. This is possible because experience takes place on a feeling level, not an intellectual level. As we open ourselves to the full experience of something on the feeling level, we accept it.
Feelings are our connection to life; without them we are hollow, stale, and cut off from true fulfillment. Self-blocking occurs on the feeling level. The feeling level is where we are most unconscious

Working on yourself is not constantly thinking about yourself…

Or your motives, or being thoughtfully introspective, or trying to control yourself and do better, or trying to be something you are not. Using the mind in this manner is self-defeating. We need to learn to sense “what is” through the feeling center, rather than project “what I expect” through the thinking center.

Experiences take place in the moment…

Being in the moment is a mystical perspective. Witness consciousness is activated, and we function on a new and higher plane that results in a sense of well-being and euphoria as well as calling into play transpersonal powers that have been blocked by the personal ego. By accepting we go beyond. We reach the spiritual through the mundane. We discover the spiritual in the mundane.
It is essential to learn how to open up on the feeling level: Processing consists of four steps, each step corresponding to a function of our individuality. The steps are taking to achieve integration of any event. The event can be an inner feeling or emotion, or a happening in the external world.

The Steps of Integrative Processing

1- Awareness                         Intellectual: Knowing
2- Acceptance                                    Mental: Thinking
3- Direct Experience             Body: Feeling

4- Transformation                Spiritual: Transcending

Empathic Listening

Communication Discussion Group


Listening is the pivotal skill we need to develop if we want to create a world of peace, health and love around and within us.
Real listening involves an attitude of total involvement with the person talking to us; entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it. It requires being sensitive, moment by moment, to the changing felt meaning which flow in this other person, to the fear or rage or tenderness or confusion or whatever that he or she is experiencing. It means temporarily living in the other’s life, moving about in it delicately without making judgments, living aside all our prejudices, views, and preconceptions, when at the same time being in touch with how this other’s story and emotions are impacting in our body-mind. In this way we listen out and within, constantly attending to the other person’s words, emotions, body language, incongruences, and mental constructions, and we check constantly how this is impacting us by being aware of our feelings, body sensations, strong emotions and mental chatter.


Empathy is the quality used as we listen to other’s story as if “we are in their shoe”. Empathic listening centers on the kind of attending, observing, and listening- the kind of “being with”- needed to develop an understanding of people and their worlds.  Such empathic listening is selfless because we must put aside our own concerns to be fully with others.